green cards

i've been designing our holiday cards since 1995 when zach was born. i had just learned how to use a mac and design and photography programs. the cards started out pretty simple and then each year became a little more complicated.  there was the year that i made the card an ornament with raffia attached in order to hang on the tree. i know i'm jewish, but i'm also a sucker for a great tree.

once i went back to work, at the end of 2000, the cards became less complicated and more clever. over the years we had such classics as the 4 seasons of zach (an idea one of his teachers asked me to translate to feature his dog!), 3 facial expressions of zach, you get the idea. all of these culminated last year with a photo on the card of obama recruiting zach to washington. with each year brought the challenge of keeping zach interested in being the focus of the card. i'm actually surprised i've gotten him this far.

that brings us to this year. zach is 14 and i couldn't find one photo that inspired me. i thought i could do something funny with zach and sarah palin, but honestly didn't want to give her the additional exposure to the 300 people i send cards to. i did think about emailing a card this year and quickly gave that up -- i love paper too much.  i know, i said i was a sucker for a great tree, but i'm not ready to go totally green just yet.  oh, so you want to know what i ended up doing for the card this year? you'll know soon enough...it'll be in the mail on monday.

wwcd: i'm going green where i can and each year will get a little closer to emailing the holiday card

my idol on madison

isabella rossellini was always the woman i wanted to be. when i grew up the models of the day were christie brinkley and cheryl tiegs - 2 women i couldn't relate to less. blond hair, one with a big smile, the other with thin lips, both 9 feet tall with vacant stares. yes, there was also the brown haired, ethnic looking janice dickinson. but seeing her recently on i'm a celebrity, get me out of here erased all good feelings i'd ever had.

but isabella rosselinni was the whole package - smart, creative, philanthropic, dated quirky men, acted in quirky movies. i loved her in blue velvet, white nights and cousins.  she also had brown hair and eyes, a round face, big lips. she cut her hair short, i cut my hair short. she wore red lipstick, i tried red lipstick. she was my epitome of a woman.

the reason i bring up isabella rossellini is because i saw her on madison avenue today. walking with a couple of shopping bags, she hailed a taxi. without a stitch of make up, this woman who is 57, was gorgeous. i honestly had not thought about her in many years, but seeing her reminded me of who i was when i first found her. a person in their 20s trying to fit in, stand out, make a life - brown hair and all.

wwcd:  it can be very comforting seeing the people who left a mark on us

mj

most people who are 51 years old do not wake up and know this is the day they're going to die. certainly not if they're healthy.  you may have your affairs in order, but you probably would have many things left unsaid to family and friends. so, how do we really live each day as if it were our last.....with nothing left unsaid?

i won't pass judgement on michael jackson and how he lived his life, but i will say that if you play with fire, you may get burned. it's sad that we've lost a pop icon at such a young age. i can't help but wonder, why someone with so much - and i'm talking about 3 children, 7 siblings,  countless nieces and nephews, and talent - would risk losing it all?

i'd like to think we can learn a little something from him. if we can make life and the people in our life valued enough so that not a day goes by that we don't treasure it and them, then we've learned something. it's easy when a tragedy takes place to turn your life around and make promises with all good intentions. it's often hard to keep up the momentum. we can only try to say what you have to say and do what you need to do. one day at a time.

wwcd: challenge yourself...that's what i'm doing with this blog and also with the rest of my life

i wish

i've done a lot of volunteering at zach's school over the last 9 years, but it or i have slowed down over the last year and a half. so when the parents association was looking for house parents in 8th grade, i volunteered. i figured it was the last year i could be a house parent, since they don't want us around in high school.  being an 8th grade house parent isn't very taxing. it really depends on the teacher and how much help they need.  you can coordinate parent volunteers for field trips, class breakfasts, etc.  but the best part is making and buying teacher gifts. the buying part is easy. the making part for 8th graders is another story.

it's easy when the kids were little...they would contribute pictures or drawings for books and art project gifts or make a ceramic sculpture of something cute.  but how to engage 13 and 14 year olds in a way that's interesting and not juvenile. didn't think hand prints on a plate would work -- their hands are way too big now.  and i didn't think a calendar with pictures of the class doing something fun for each month would be appropriate -- who takes pictures of 13 and 14 years olds like we did when they were 8? i'm not sure i really want to see everything they're doing.

i figured out that asking them to write one sentence would be something they could fit in between sports, music lessons, texting, homework, shopping, rehearsals, and parties. at least i hoped so. it took a while to figure out what to ask them to write, but i came up with an "i wish" sentence.  they could wish something for their teacher, family, friend, school, city, country or world. i have been surprised at the thoughtful responses i've received so far. they've hoped for peace, a greener world, health and happiness, and one of my favorites so far: i wish my teacher's child would let her sleep through the night.

wwcd: it's inspiring to hear what the next generation is hoping for...even if it's just a good nights sleep

friend or parent

when i was growing up my mother didn't want to be my friend, she wanted to be my mother. as i got older, the line blurred and we became friends. actually, as i think about my teen years, i remember a couple of friends' parents who blurred the lines, wanting to hang out with us. wanting to be cool, i assume.  at times we thought they were cool...the go-to parent when yours wouldn't listen, but in reality, these were not the parents you could go to and get good advice.

many parents i know now have allowed those lines to blur too early. i love my son, would do virtually anything for him, but i am not his friend.  i have his back and i'm his advocate, but i am not his friend. i want to set an example of good adult behavior. i want zach to know when i disapprove of his behavior or actions. i expect him to show the proper respect for adults when they act like adults.  i love the idea of zach having other adults - relatives, teachers, friends of mine - he trusts enough to confide in. i hope he chooses wisely.

he's a teenager now and is faced with and will be faced later on with more choices. i hope he continues to have his inner strength...the one who hasn't succumbed to peer pressure. i hope the pressure or condoning of inappropriate behavior doesn't come from parents who are just trying to be cool and blur the lines.

wwcd: i love being a mom and will always, and i look forward to a friendship with my son somewhere down the line