hopeful

Half empty or half full? I'm a half full kind of person and prefer to see the best in a situation or person. I think that's why I like a new year. It's a time that most people feel positive about starting fresh.

Oddly, it was a bit hard when I thought about 2012 beginning. Between feeling need for personal change and the looming presidential election, this new year seemed filled with more uncertainty than past years. What's interesting is sitting here a little over a month into the year and I'm already feeling differently about what's coming. I'm feeling more settled and focused than I was during most of 2011, and I'm enjoying more of where I'm spending my time now.

As for the election, well, it's a bit like watching children fight. Not Obama since he hasn't fully stepped in yet, but each Republican candidate. And even though we're down to 4, I'm worried about all the negativity being promoted so far. I fear this election will be dirty and dangerous. Between Adelson and Trump and a few other monied or vocal people, it feels like posturing and throwing their weight around and unfortunately, not about the better candidate winning.

Many things need to change in this city, the country, the world, and right now there are too many voices making noise and not enough solutions being heard. Obama, I'm counting on you in your second term to find those solutions and be as noisy as possible.

Work it

Nine to Five, Norma Rae, Erin Brokovich, Working Girl, Baby Boom, Legally Blonde, Devil Wears Prada...each movie depicts women in the work force...different types of women. I think I fall somewhere between Sally Field and Diane Keaton.

I grapple with the balance of family, friends, work and pro bono.  There's nothing more important to me than spending time with my family and friends, but unless I block out time, it's easily eaten away with other commitments. I have a friend who calls me a lunch whore, of course always said with love but, knowing that it's difficult to schedule lunch with me. I look at my calendar sometimes and imagine elves have hacked my Google account and added meetings, lunches and dinners.

The working world hasn't been 9 to 5 since the movie of the same name was released. The plus of our 24/7 world is not having to stay in your office the typical 8 hours, since you're able to spread out the work day to after dinner, or late at night, or those times reserved for insomnia, or the weekend. It has though increased the load and the expectation. And, the 24/7 world was not created with procrastinators in mind. They are truly at a disadvantage being able to push off work until...later.

I love being able to take a break from work, have dinner, talk to Zach, and then return to a project or problem. The time away clears my mind to think about it differently and possibly find a different way to resolve the issue. I've read the reports that we do not really multi-task well, but I like having the opportunity to spend time on a work project, switch to a volunteer challenge, and back to a work report. In addition to keeping my interest, I believe each project enhances the other.

The challenge is making my time count and working on projects I feel are meaningful. I like making a difference and being challenged.  So, I've just spent a couple of hours with Norma Rae and I'm ready for a little J.C. Wiatt.

do the right thing

It's a bit unnerving how early college is discussed now in the life of a high school student. I don't remember even thinking about college until junior year. With all this talk happening earlier, there seems to be more opportunity to discuss what parents hope for their children and whom they hope the kids grow into as adults. I hear a lot about wanting the kids to be happy and successful adults who find a career they love. Nothing wrong with being happy and successful, or loving what you spend much of your time doing.

Not to minimize those dreams, but a few things feel like they're missing. What about being a good person? What about being the person who does the right thing? Over the weekend I was talking with my step-dad about the Sandusky molestations. We were both incredulous at the behavior of the assistant coach when he walked in on Sandusky raping a 10 year old. I recounted a conversation I had with Zach about what he should do if he ever walked in on that kind of a situation. I said you don't have to put yourself in danger, but you must do the right thing and get help immediately.

This touched such a nerve that I cried with my step-dad. I want Zach to be a happy and successful adult, but I believe with every fiber of my being that all of it will be meaningless unless you have values and a moral compass that leads you to making the choice to do the right thing. These are choices that come up frequently and most are not as life and death as what that assistant coach encountered, but each time you have a choice. Being proud of who you are and doing the right thing will make you a happy person.

mothers

One of my favorite movies is Mother with Albert Brooks and Debbie Reynolds. It came out in 1996...the year after I became a mother. 

The story centers on Brooks as he returns to his childhood home hoping to understand what went wrong in his relationships with women. What ensues is brilliant comedy between a mother and son. One of my favorite scenes is when Reynolds and Brooks are on the phone and her call waiting interrupts. She attempts to put him on hold only to return to him several times before Brooks asks why she even pays for call waiting. It's a scene those of us with technology-challenged moms relate to and appreciate. Of course I've never had a similar experience with my mom.

If you have your mom into your adult life, changes in them and in your relationship take place. You may hear many of the same stories again and again, and even when you think you can't listen once more, you may begin to find these stories a bit comforting. Topics may include: past family events, disagreements with friends or family members, movie themes, theater revivals, and most likely your childhood.

Moms are usually the only person in the world who can bring the adult you back to the 16 year old you faster than running into your high school boyfriend. They can also be the one to embarrass, humiliate and frustrate you more than anyone. I was at a dinner the other night and two of the guests brought along their mothers. It was fascinating to see how each of the daughters interacted, excused, and reacted to their moms.

Later that night I wondered if I'll embarrass Zach when he's older and I'm older. Then I realized, it's not if it's when, realizing I've already started. So I'll go on record now, I'm sorry for asking too many questions, repeating myself at every opportunity, and just generally bugging you. Know it all comes from a place of love.

I know you've got a good mother story....and I'd love to hear it.

like heaven

It's in one of the busiest neighborhoods of New York City. Through a maze of construction barricades. In and out of open tunnels. And after many security check points, I am pushed out into this open area. It's almost too large to take in. The grass is perfectly mowed. The trees are all lined up, with each similar in size. It feels very controlled.

Until you see the waterfalls. The water first rolls through a metal comb and then pours freely into a pool so deep and peaceful. The pools are massive in size...each surrounded by metal with names in an elegant font. It's the combination of perfect nature and flawless design that makes it look so solid.

This place is peaceful, some call it sacred. It isn't until I raise my eyes and look up only to see massive buildings, that I remember I'm in New York. I haven't been here since December 2001. It makes me proud that an almost indescribable monument is now here forever. Seeing the heaven that was built on hell...