i walk the same 4 blocks to and from work each day...sometimes a couple of times a day, depending on if i want to walk lucy midday. i listen to music or talk on the phone, but i always see some of the most interesting looking women as i walk. well put together, running to the gym, pushing strollers, on their way to work, lunch, the doctor, shopping, meeting friends.
over the last few years i've begun to notice and be a bit put off by the many young women i see who have had plastic surgery or botox or restylane or some new filler or paralyzer that makes them look younger. supposedly. and i've also noticed too many women who appear to be anorexic. and today a question for all of this hit me like a truck. are we raised to hate ourselves?
at first the thought made me sad and that feeling quickly changed to anger. i do think we are raised to hate ourselves. whether it's too much hair in the wrong places, carrying too much weight, letting hair go gray, being too short, being too tall, having thick eyebrows or too thin lips, and the worst offense of all - growing old and allowing wrinkles to appear.
wwcd: can we ignore media messages and peer pressure and start liking ourselves?
I say "yes" let it begin with me. I let myself see beauty everywhere rather than judge the surfaces of people. Others will only judge me based on whatever is in themselves, not on what is in me and sometimes I can help them release that by just being myself more truthfully.
ReplyDeleteLetting go of the suffering starts with seeing the cause of the suffering. Wishing we were not the way we are is a way of thinking badly of ourselves. Judging based on appearances is a huge source of suffering. We fear death as age appears in a body, are repulsed by nonconformity (think otherness), and reject ourselves and others because of physical attributes. Ugh. Even the efforts others make to "look beautiful" is another thing to judge about them...
I like to think about other species and how they just are. Okay, the ones with the brighter plummage get the girl faster, but there's no evidence that any of them feel good or bad about their attributes. They just use them as part of their arsenal of survival tactics!
So difficult when one is constantly being bombarded by the media telling you what beautiful is - what it should look like, weight, hair, skin color, height..and the list goes on.
ReplyDeleteI agree - the botox thing is getting out of control.
Two thoughts: First, it breaks my heart when I see so many young women suffering from anorexia at my gym. And I see them all the time, because though I don't go often, whenever I go they are there. The question is: who speaks up to help them? Me? I feel I have no right or authority. The staff of the club? Perhaps, acting as "professionals." Would it make a difference. Almost certainly not, given all the counter-veiling forces to reinforce the disease.
ReplyDeleteSecond: I saw an old (old) friend today, someone I hadn't seen in about 17 years. She saw me first, called out my name, gave me a big hello and smile ...and before I could say much of anything, she said, wow, you look good. You don't have any (many??)wrinkles. Of all the things to say to someone after 17 years apart, should that have been item #1? OY.