dear daddy,
one month ago would have been your 80th birthday, but you didn't even live to see your 60th. you were involved in my life more when i became an adult, but your impact on me as a child was huge.
recently i've had the most vivid memories of some of our time together...everything from the giant stuffed pink dog and tropical fish you bought to meeting the monkees (especially davy jones) to seeing "death wish" to your up beat wake up calls in europe every morning. each evoking such a different side of you. i know there are many more memories, but these are the ones that have surfaced.
it's also hard to forget your temper and easy frustrations with parenting. having now been a mom for 15 years, i think i understand you better. we're very different parents, different people with some striking similarities. we both love the art and challenge of selling ideas. we can be generous to a fault. and we can appear positive when we don't feel so positive.
wwcd: wish i understood the impact of our relationship
it's also hard to forget your temper and easy frustrations with parenting. having now been a mom for 15 years, i think i understand you better. we're very different parents, different people with some striking similarities. we both love the art and challenge of selling ideas. we can be generous to a fault. and we can appear positive when we don't feel so positive.
wwcd: wish i understood the impact of our relationship
That was so beautiful. It's sad that your father died so young, and interesting to see how your memories shift over time. I'm sure he would be proud of the woman you've become.
ReplyDeletewhat a lovely photo - full of character in each of you. life is about finding out what that really is, and then looking back and wondering who it was from the new perspectives gained. Present or absent, we will always look at our parents with some deep sense of wonder, that they were here before we existed is the first mystery; that we lived in their sphere of influence yet hardly knew them is the next. And of course we cannot help but remember them with all our heart, puzzling over what a human life is, ours and theirs.
ReplyDeletefrom aunt judy:
ReplyDeleteTo understand the relationship, the dynamics u had with a parent - the good the bad and the ugly. .the parent child connection or lack of has been reexamined, reviewed, reassessed, reevaluated, critiqued and criticized. the mother daughter...the daughter father. oh my God if we could go back, if we only knew then what we now know as an adult, a parent ourselves. u know what, nothing would change. it took me years and soul searching to come to the conclusion that our parents did the very best job they were capable of. they were the product of their dysfunctional family. we all have good and bad memories if we are lucky.
as much as we complain, and God knows I do , my parents are and were a gift! so hard to teach to your children! Perhaps one day they will realizethat too! I loved your moment of thought. Thank you
ReplyDeleteI just now saw this - finally catching up on your posts. Funny that my post is similar to yours - re: memories about parents and parenting. I suppose a universal consciousness on the subject as we hit those marks in our life and think of our parents at those marks.
ReplyDeleteReally lovely.