i had a little aha moment this evening. i was on my way to meet a friend for dinner and on 79th and madison i looked up at the sky. it was the most extraordinary dark blue that faded to a beautiful lighter blue as i looked west. i thought this sky was the brilliant night version of the morning sky of 9-11.
that thought brought me back to a very sad time which made me start thinking about how easy it is for a mood to change just because of a memory. so here's the aha part - i'm 50 and there's a boat load of memories trapped in my brain and they come popping out and into my consciousness whenever the time suits them. this can mean a lot of flux in a mood during one day, no?
i often think i'm too sensitive and cry easily about someone else's pain. i don't even need to know them personally to feel upset. but tonight while looking at that amazing blue sky, i realized that i don't need to fight these feelings or hide these feelings or feel embarrassed by them. that's who i am. i don't need to make excuses. i do need to understand that an unexpected memory may change my mood. if it's to a happy memory all the better.
wwcd: just recognize it's a memory and not need to relive each minute of it
Yes, yes, open to the flow but not caught up in it. The feelings are connections to your self, your past, to others, to events and yet do not define you. You don't have to judge them -- or you because of them! Each moment is deep - and does make connections if you allow that to happen. The feelings are a big part of the stories we tell ourselves, and frame the way we file information, remembered and forgotten. Thanks for sharing the roller coaster!
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