no wings?

maybe i'm just nostalgic lately or maybe it was our recent flight to florida, but i've been thinking about how magical it was to travel when i was a child. i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the magic is gone. not just a little gone, but all gone. while at laguardia last week, i saw a mom, dad and their 4 year old daughter looking haggard as they made their way through the terminal and couldn't help but remember how excited i used to get the minute we entered the airport. people dressed for travel and flying was an event, not a burden. pilots were dashing and exuded confidence. stewardesses dressed in colorful uniforms, smiled and were helpful. and i had a collection of airline pins, each one saying i had my wings to fly.

i understand we live in different times since 911 and i appreciate the idea behind strict security measures. what i don't understand is the arbitrary act of some security agents. as i said, zach and i were just in florida and our dog lucy came with us. it's insulting enough that i have to pay $200 for her round trip under-the-seat ticket, but guess what item stopped us at security? her prescription canned dog food. 

the tsa agent uttered the words you never want to hear, "please step to the side." he went through my carry on (no checked bags to delay us when we land) and he found 3 cans of lucy's food and looked at me as though i should have known better. he called over 2 other agents and they deliberated only to point out that water was the first ingredient and that made the dog food not permitted on board. seriously? my options were to throw it out or check my bag. not wanting a starving dog in florida, i opted for the latter. 

fast forward to our return flight and the 3 of us are once again faced with a tsa agent who is looking at me and not smiling. "please step to the side." again?! this time it was the small container of water that i was carrying for lucy to drink...though i did know better on this one and meant to fill it up after we went through security. zach went back through security to rid us of the offensive water. 

but here's the kicker: once home and unpacking, i was looking in my make-up bag for a lipstick (the same make-up bag that flew with me in the cabin to and from new york) and pulled out a metal pocket knife. all i felt were chills. 

wwcd:  forget the wings, i'm installing an x-ray machine in my house

happy 50th

it's a friend of mine's 50th birthday today. 50. what a big number. i remember thinking i'd never be 50 and that of course happened regardless of what i thought. what's amazing is that it didn't take very long to get  to 50.

each decade represents something different for each of us. my teens were spent exploring boundaries and pushing them. in my 20s i found out how much i love working - while balancing it with a ridiculous amount of running around. my 30s stabilized my life with marriage and zach. and my 40s kept me in love with being a mom, led me to a career i never expected to find, and brought me back to a place i didn't think i'd ever want to revisit, let alone care about as much as i do. and that brings me to my 50s and wondering what this decade holds. even faced with so much change that's happened recently and more to come in the next few years, there is a new sense of calm. yeah, yeah, i know...calm, shmalm...i can laugh harder and cry more easily than ever. so much for the calm.

so with that...tom, i wish for you to remember:

it's a new year. 

decade.

chapter.

with untold opportunities.

adventures.

possibilities.

enjoy it all...each and every minute.

wishing you a very happy birthday.

me

wwcd: maybe i'll save the calm for my 60s 

separation anxiety

a feeling usually experienced by first time nursery school toddlers and parents or sleep away camp campers and parents, but at 51 i'm feeling it for the first time. my mom has decided to move to florida...year round.  it'll be the first time that we haven't lived in the same building or city.

i'm having a hard time managing all of the emotions surfacing with this change.  friends who don't have good relationships with their parents are jealous. those with good relationships know how hard this is for me. i know my mom and i have had our ups and downs, but we've always been there for each other. now we'll be helpful by phone or skype. it'll be different.

our family hasn't been the close-knit one i hoped for and that makes this feel more difficult.  my mom is zach's only grandma and that makes me like having her even more in his day-to-day life. i'm also a true creature of habit, not one who likes change in my personal life. and there's so much change going on now...

wwcd:  going to enjoy that we've got a lovely place to go 3 hours away by plane

my time off

i would love to tell you i've been on some exotic island...or even just a plain island enjoying the sun and water, but that's not how i spent january and part of february. it's been a time of nursing myself back to health, loving the snow, nursing zach back to health, avoiding the snow, spending time with some fun people, cursing the snow, and working loads. and a self-imposed blog hiatus.

as i write this almost 3 weeks into february, i wonder how it's possible 6 weeks of 2011 has gone by. i'm still not used to typing or writing 2011. and i wonder if the northeast is going to get pelted with a storm tomorrow after having 60 degree weather the other day?  i don't remember this much snow since the winter of 95 when zach was a newborn.

the big dilemma is what to do with this blog.  i've missed writing all these weeks, but i need to decide what i now want to write about. feel like i've been preachy about doing the right thing a little too much. and feeling too emotional to write what's going on now.

wwcd:  hoping to write more soon

get a life

it was a sitcom with chris elliott. it can be interpreted as a nasty suggestion, but i'm thinking now it's a bit more definitive. i'd like to propose a new version of it: get a real life or get your own life. this may just be my knee jerk response to all of the reality tv that exists. don't get me wrong, i've been known to watch the complete season of big brother....maybe even all 12 seasons, but what's on now scares me.

actually, many of the shows are repulsive. some of the names alone are concerning:

16 and pregnant

19 kids and counting

30 seconds of fame

american's next top model

the biggest loser

bridal boot camp

but the sex is so good

dating in the dark

fake-a-date

for love or money

hair battle spectacular

hoarders

keeping up with the kardashians

nyc prep

the real housewives of....just about anywhere

and the worst of the worst

sarah palin's alaska

what i don't understand is the obsession people have watching other people live. is it wanting to be them? or not liking your life as much as the people on tv? i'd like to think maybe it's to appreciate your life more after watching one of these shows. 

wwcd: one doable resolution for me is not to waste my life watching someone else's life...and happy new year!