separation anxiety

a feeling usually experienced by first time nursery school toddlers and parents or sleep away camp campers and parents, but at 51 i'm feeling it for the first time. my mom has decided to move to florida...year round.  it'll be the first time that we haven't lived in the same building or city.

i'm having a hard time managing all of the emotions surfacing with this change.  friends who don't have good relationships with their parents are jealous. those with good relationships know how hard this is for me. i know my mom and i have had our ups and downs, but we've always been there for each other. now we'll be helpful by phone or skype. it'll be different.

our family hasn't been the close-knit one i hoped for and that makes this feel more difficult.  my mom is zach's only grandma and that makes me like having her even more in his day-to-day life. i'm also a true creature of habit, not one who likes change in my personal life. and there's so much change going on now...

wwcd:  going to enjoy that we've got a lovely place to go 3 hours away by plane

my time off

i would love to tell you i've been on some exotic island...or even just a plain island enjoying the sun and water, but that's not how i spent january and part of february. it's been a time of nursing myself back to health, loving the snow, nursing zach back to health, avoiding the snow, spending time with some fun people, cursing the snow, and working loads. and a self-imposed blog hiatus.

as i write this almost 3 weeks into february, i wonder how it's possible 6 weeks of 2011 has gone by. i'm still not used to typing or writing 2011. and i wonder if the northeast is going to get pelted with a storm tomorrow after having 60 degree weather the other day?  i don't remember this much snow since the winter of 95 when zach was a newborn.

the big dilemma is what to do with this blog.  i've missed writing all these weeks, but i need to decide what i now want to write about. feel like i've been preachy about doing the right thing a little too much. and feeling too emotional to write what's going on now.

wwcd:  hoping to write more soon