all the hopes + dreams

i love that i'm at a new time in life - i still know people young enough to have babies (see the brand new beautiful henry pictured) and last week i found out i know someone who will be a grandma for the first time. someone i went to high school with has children old enough to want to have children! i'm not sure how that happened so fast, but this time feels special.

all the hopes and dreams we feel as parents must feel different as grandparents. the changed perspective. the reality of your children raising a child. and maybe even your hopes and dreams you had of your child becoming a parent now realized. it must incomprehensible on some level. and of course you will now have the ability to offer your opinions when asked....or whenever!

i'm convinced grandparents have forgotten the day-to-day of parenting. they either remember only the good times or only the bad ones, but not the regular ups and downs of the typical day in a parent's life. i can barely remember what zach was like 14 years ago. what i do remember always makes me smile though. i hope years from now if i'm lucky enough to be a grandma, i'd like to enjoy it as much as i enjoy being a parent.

wwcd: one more something wonderful to look forward to

definition of the c word: choice

i just started watching the c word on showtime and it has me thinking about choosing to live your life more fully after a fatal diagnosis as opposed to before it - while you're healthy. and i keep coming back to life is all about choices.

i know i get stuck on the minutia of life and sometimes forget what i find important. i'd like to be more spontaneous. and take more risks. and say more of what's on my mind. i'd also like to enjoy more moments and really appreciate them without thinking about the endless "to do" list.

the laura linney character on the c word has apparently gone from a fairly boring and set-in-her-way person to a woman with a wtf-carefree attitude once hearing of her terminal diagnosis. she's getting rid of the marriage that isn't working, shaping up the kid who's out of control, and she's even having a pool installed in her very small backyard. but most of all, she seems like she's actually liking herself and her life.

wwcd: choosing to enjoy life

wear one for nancy

it's a beautiful day in new york today and i was out walking early. on a few saturdays in august, the city shuts down park avenue in order for people to walk, skate, run or ride their bikes. it's really lovely seeing this main avenue without a car and so many people enjoying a rare freedom.

so why would anyone risk their life and ride their bike without a helmet. i saw so many people not wearing helmets this morning. there was a mom with 2 small children on the back of her bike, a man who didn't have a shirt on either, a beautiful young woman with 2 men - but they were wearing helmets, and there were also children without helmets on their heads. as an adult if you make the choice to take your life in your hands, it's your choice, but as a parent it's so irresponsible not making your child wear one.

truth be told, i would normally not notice if someone's helmet is on or not, but 3 weeks ago my friend nancy was in a bad bike accident. she was riding and a dog off a leash ran across the park drive in central park.  nancy hit the dog and even though she had her helmet on she was still injured. it's hard to see someone you care about with many black + blue marks, and scabs, and a fractured pelvis, and part of her head shaved because she needed cranial surgery. yes, wearing a helmet...but it's hard not to wonder the outcome if she hadn't had it on.

the statistics suck - of the roughly 700 biking deaths per year, over 90% of those people were NOT wearing helmets. it's kind of like not putting your kid in a car seat, or not wearing your seatbelt, or playing russian roulette. so think about wearing a helmet and putting a leash on your dog.

wwcd: just in case, i ordered one of these wrist ids for my son...you may want one too

tell me something good

i'm having an internal battle. i think we all need to accept responsibility for the things we do. the good as well as the not so good. i also think we need to be respectful of each other. and while i'm ranting a bit, i also think what's most important is having a good heart and good manners.

this is where i run into a wall. when do we expect kids to start having this and how do we expect them to learn it? and why does it sometimes seem as if we expect the kids to have better manners than we, as adults, do? they learn from our example and we've got some pretty lousy examples out there.

i worry that we're going to release a group of kids into the work force and the world who behave in the most entitled way. i find this behavior pretty unattractive when seen displayed by adults, but when it's evident in kids, it's worse. what boss is going to allow this behavior for any length of time?  not all of these kids have a trust fund that eliminates the need to work...and a boss will be in their future.

and even if we forget about the boss for a minute...don't we want to raise a generation of caring, compassionate and resilient people? isn't that one of our responsibilities as parents? when i think about zach in the future, the adult zach, i see him as good. it's a pretty simple word that for me encompasses everything important.

wwcd: next step is getting him through the teenage years...in 1 piece and still good

take me back to obama in chicago

and that magical night in november 2008 when we watched more than just history being made. we had a country filled with hope for our future. sure there were the naysayers - there always are. but i remember being at a friend's home watching the early election returns. the first states coming in red and making us all a bit nervous. yes, virtually everyone i know voted for obama. hearing keith olbermann announce obama our 44th president was truly a magical moment. 

i remember earlier that day standing on line at 6am in the darkness and running into so many parents i know each accompanied by their children. the belief that change was a possibility and hoping it was a probability was electric. throughout the day this was the only topic of conversation. sneaking peaks at cnn to witness the lines of voters in so many parts of the country kept the belief that obama would win alive. 

change was coming. 8 years of stupid was gone. we had a president who was smart, affable, and well-liked. that alone was change i could believe in. but what did he inherit? a mess beyond comprehension. do i wish as i sit here a year and a half later that the economy was better, that wars were over, and that unemployment not as large? yes, of course. but do i also feel the rest of the world doesn't hate us anymore and that black and white people in this country and the world have an amazing role model? without question.

i'm that loser who has kept his acceptance speech on the dvr. and i still get teary-eyed when i watch it. he's inspiring and when i need a little inspiration, obama's yes we can hits the spot. ok, so i'm not that blind to what hasn't happened since obama became president. we all knew he wasn't perfect and it would all take time, but there is no question in my mind that had mccain/palin won we'd be in much worse shape.

wwcd: still believes that change is coming, just a little slower than i hoped

2 heads are better than 1

so i've been thinking about private schools lately. i went to one, the same one zach attends, and i work at another one. i had no idea that when i started there 10 years ago this would be such a longterm relationship. and someplace i would so enjoy working at for this long a time. i also never thought i would have as many opinions as i do about schools, considering i do not have a degree in education. but my latest thought is about the business of being a school, not the education. 

it's much more of a business than when i attended school. back then there seemed to be less opportunities for money to make a statement and get in the way of the actual purpose of the school - educating children. i don't envy the head of any school - they have so much to balance. i think if schools plan to continue on this business path, and this seems quite likely, it might be time to restructure. what could the school of the near future look like? i don't think very different. with the cost of tuition consistently rising, heads of schools will continue to need to know more than just curriculum and managing people. 

it's not just because of the business aspect, there also seems to be a direct correlation between parent expectation and the rising cost of tuition. and then if you add in substantial gift-giving, the head of a school may find themselves faced with some difficult choices. the reality of being successful and strategic at fundraising and thoughtful and forward-thinking about curriculum is expecting a lot from one person. what a great opportunity to divide and conquer: 2 heads each leading the school. one strictly from the educational perspective and the other concerning themselves only with finance.

wwcd: i'm now wondering why my high school offered 17 languages when i attended and now is down to only 5

sending strength

life never ceases to amaze me. this seems to be the summer for many of my friends to be confronted with health issues facing their parents. the sandwich generation i've been hearing about for the last 20 years is now here. ailments seem to run the spectrum of just needing a bit more help to some very serious diagnoses.

i feel very fortunate. my mom is healthy...albeit a few aches and pains, frustration with dropping things and the occasional lapse in memory. i know, i could be describing any one of my friends or me, but i realize these changes in health, dexterity and mental agility are very annoying for my mom. my stepfather has serious medical issues and spends a good deal of time seeing and speaking with doctors. we've definitely had our share of hospital visits and stays. what i think they'd both agree with is that getting old sucks.

well, unfortunately, life sometimes sucks when you're younger too. and sometimes it's unexpected. and sometimes it rocks the very core of your life and changes it all in a split second. and sometimes it takes everything you have to get back to where you were. but whether you're old and need help or younger and need help, what's important is having your family and friends there with you...being strong or sending strength.

wwcd: just trying to be there