Thursday, November 18, 2010

you got me thinking

i spoke with a friend the other night or rather i babbled and he spoke. i am so tired and have been for the last few months that i cannot seem to get enough sleep to make me not tired. that being said, it's my fault. i've over-scheduled myself: with work, volunteer commitments, and family. we all get it, we're all busy.

but my friend said, ever since i've know you, you've always been swamped. i just agreed, but later on wondered if that's how people see the busy one. don't get me wrong, i like to be busy. and don't get me wrong, i love to do nothing too.

it's amazing to me how stressed i've felt the last few weeks. being pulled in too many directions and not keeping any or enough time for me. each time i find myself in this position, i make a promise not to let it happen again. and then it does...and in addition to being overwhelmed, i'm then mad at myself...all making for an even wamer and cozier feeling.

and here I am again. truth is i'm finally starting to get a handle on it all...but i put myself through such stress to get to a place of breathing. i am sitting here laughing at the geico commercial with the pig squealing all the way home, so i must be getting back to a bit of my normal self.

wwcd: keep the promise to myself


  1. perhaps we should sign up for a class on how to say, "NO." Of course we have to find time for the class!

  2. Yes, you are the busy one, but it usually seems like a happy busy doing things you love. The busy you're experiencing now seems more burdensome... obligations, and maybe things that you are less passionate about. I'm glad to hear that you're laughing.

  3. from aunt judy:
    Keeping the promise to yourself definitely works ......for a very short period of time. As we move thru different stages in our lives, the stress will be determined as to who and what is in our space. your son, your spouse, your parents, your commitments, your personal health issues. As the people in our lives change, as the work area changes, as our health changes, as our world around us changes, the stress will be a level as to all of the above issues. We live in the moment. I take a very deep breath, welcome each day as a new beginning...thanking God for the beautiful sunrise...feel blessed for the loved ones in my life, and move forward. We have choices in life....but we can't control what happens.

  4. Thich Nhat Hahn tells a beautiful story in his book on Mindfulness. It is the story of a young father. At first, he spent time with the child, time with the wife, time working and tried to eek out time for himself. Then he was delegated the role of helping with homework as the first child aged, and the 2nd child came along. He helped in the house, helped with the new child, tried to help his wife, spent time with the homework, tried to get his work done and felt he never had time for himself.

    It was in his meditation practice that he came to the awareness that every moment was his moment. From that point on, every moment was for him: to be with his young daughter, to cherish his wife and give her ease, to share his son's learning, to dig into his interests, and though he was tired, he was very happy.

    So I ask, what is this time for ourselves that we wait for? Is not this very moment the only one, and solely ours? To whom does it belong if not us? For whom does it exist if not us? Only in us does it exist at all...