get a life

it was a sitcom with chris elliott. it can be interpreted as a nasty suggestion, but i'm thinking now it's a bit more definitive. i'd like to propose a new version of it: get a real life or get your own life. this may just be my knee jerk response to all of the reality tv that exists. don't get me wrong, i've been known to watch the complete season of big brother....maybe even all 12 seasons, but what's on now scares me.

actually, many of the shows are repulsive. some of the names alone are concerning:

16 and pregnant

19 kids and counting

30 seconds of fame

american's next top model

the biggest loser

bridal boot camp

but the sex is so good

dating in the dark

fake-a-date

for love or money

hair battle spectacular

hoarders

keeping up with the kardashians

nyc prep

the real housewives of....just about anywhere

and the worst of the worst

sarah palin's alaska

what i don't understand is the obsession people have watching other people live. is it wanting to be them? or not liking your life as much as the people on tv? i'd like to think maybe it's to appreciate your life more after watching one of these shows. 

wwcd: one doable resolution for me is not to waste my life watching someone else's life...and happy new year!

something out of a sitcom

in fact, i think this may have been a mary tyler moore episode - and i was playing rhoda. i've been looking forward to break starting - a concept i never had while working in corporate, but one i embrace wholeheartedly. it's the first sunday of break and i'm meeting a friend for brunch downtown. she wasn't mary...maybe more like phyllis. after brunch we walked up to chelsea market and into anthropologie. normally, this would be a welcomed stop, but about 1/2 hour into it i started feeling odd. after what seemed like a very long taxi ride home, i realized i had a dinner that night - with mary.  

once in home and in bed, i called mary and said i wasn't feeling well, but could be dragged downstairs to EAT for a bowl of chicken matzoh ball soup. mary has been sick for the last couple of weeks and was just as happy to not venture far. when the last matzoh ball was finished, i knew it was time for sleep. upstairs we go, mary to 4 and me to 8. see, just like mary and rhoda. i wasn't in the house 10 minutes  when chills and sweats started.

those chills and sweats lasted all night and most of the next day. i don't remember  being that sick in a long time. i had several calls from friends who were incredibly generous with offers to drop things off. of course, mary called too.  i was able to sleep better monday night and by tuesday morning felt almost normal. i thought about rushing back to life and then thought not. i spent the morning at home - in bed still. at about 1pm i went for a walk and enjoyed the sunshine i hadn't let into my bedroom for 2 days. and when i returned, headed for the couch instead. brought the laptop over and started answering emails, surfed the web and wrote a bit. all seemed to be going well, but as we all know, life was never smooth for rhoda. when i decided it was time to return to bed, i picked up the laptop and reached over to place it on the coffee table and that's when hell broke loose.

i felt searing pain in the middle of my back. did i pull it? was it a heart attack? yes, i'm neurotic enough to think many symptoms are due to a heart attack. as i felt this tremendous pain i received a text from mary checking in on me. a sign from god? i am having a heart attack and here's my lifeline. i called mary and she convinced me it was a back spasm and a heating pad and advil would help. while we were on the phone, the doorbell rang, the dog went nuts, and i had to walk to the front door. once opened, i find that carlton the doorman left me a package....on the floor. seriously? soccer dribbled it inside and went back to the heating pad. after 3 hours with the heating pad, i ventured into a hot shower and went to bed. scroll credits.

wwcd:  hoping dr. kildare makes a guest appearance soon

dear nate

i don't remember how many years ago it was when i first saw you on oprah, but i remember thinking what a bundle of happiness and talent you possess. your sensitivity always came through with each person or family you shared your designs with. it always seemed that you wore your heart on your sleeve and didn't hide your happiness or sadness in a way that feels very familiar and comforting. 

i smiled along with you when a family loved their newly-designed home. you made my heart hurt when you appeared on oprah after you lost your partner in the tsunami. i do believe that everything in life happens for a reason and we sometimes never fully understand why, except that whatever happens changes us forever. and sometimes we're lucky if it makes us more sensitive.

what i enjoy so much now is watching you come into your own on your show. i love all of the different segments, but what feels so meaningful are the ones where you help those who are missing something in their life. whether it's a new bedroom, couch or holiday decorations, you've given them something more important than a thing, you've made a difference in their life. how special to be in a position to help many...and to set an example for so many more.

wwcd: it's really so easy to make a difference in someone's life

...family

i'm finding it hard not to think about family today and the fragility of relationships. watching the funeral of elizabeth edwards, and listening to her daughter eulogize her mother feels a bit overshadowed by the poor choices of john edwards. waking up to the news of mark madoff's suicide is yet another tragedy caused by the incomprehensible choices of bernie madoff. a day filled with so much reverberating sadness. may they both have found peace.

it doesn't take a death to kill a family. the dynamic is delicate. bonds broken over poor choices. irreconcilable differences. grudges. when whittled down to the core, each indiscretion or action seems to come from a lack of respect for the person and the relationship.

as hard as it is at times to balance family demands, i try to make it a priority. it doesn't by any means always work. i do a lot of it the wrong way. it's hard at times do what's right, respect your elders, observe traditions, make unpopular choices, be in 5 places at once, and not always be in the 5 right places at once. but setting examples for children may be the only way we can insure the respect for family lives on.

wwcd: try to keep it all balanced