Sunday, June 6, 2010

peaking at the right time

i think it's easier to peak later and grow into it slowly, rather than peaking in middle or high school. what would there be to look forward to? we all remember the kids in school who epitomized cool. i remember vividly that i wasn't one of them. didn't really want to be one of them, but sort of enjoyed watching from afar and wondering what it would be like to be one of them. 

i've always been a late bloomer. i didn't grow to my full height or get my period until i was 16 - which led to a few doctor visits to make sure i would in fact grow. it also led to feelings of unrelenting insecurities. school didn't help since i spent many a parent-teacher conference hearing i wasn't working up to my potential. i also found high school to be a social land mine of missteps which led to more of the insecure feelings i was already having. 

i don't think i really started peaking until my mid 40s. work was definitely working. parenting was a complete pleasure and where i felt total comfort. ironically,n the place i felt the peaking occur the most was the place it didn't happen initially - school. it wasn't my school anymore, but zach's now. through all my volunteer work i felt as though i had finally lived up to my potential. i will say there was the feeling of a full circle in this happening where i would have liked it to happen all those decades ago. 

wwcd: we all peak - with a little patience


  1. Excerpt from Aunt Judy:
    I am still peaking...everyday I say, will I peak today, or feel insecure.
    I never epitomized cool...never was involved with a "cool' group of girls in, was not a happy time...extremely competitive...I did not enjoy watching from was very sad, not to be included.

    I too was told that I wasn't working up to my potential....I..had a wonderful best friend, that I wouldn't call cool...but she was there for me...we were there for each other....she was always a straight "A" student..I struggled.........we were at each others weddings, and birth of children.....we remained very good friends until her untimely death ...she suffered for years with MS, ..... I visited her often...have no good memories of school, until college.

    enjoyed college very much...was popular, and had many friends....great memories until my parents pulled me out school ...I met a wonderful gentleman....relationship became quite family even my grandmother adored him...BUT he wasn't Jewish....all things happen I guess for a reason.

    met my future husband at Brooklyn College...happy ending to the earlier unhappy chapter in my life......I found self confidence finally.....
    My husband never allowed anyone including my Mother, to put me down, or say something to that was not kind, or had a bad tone of voice....he was my soul mate.

    I became a very strong articulate, speaker.....president of Women's American Ort...Dallas chapter. I addressed the Knesset in Israel......met Golda Mier, Moishe Dayan....very exciting.....very gratifying........ owned my own candy company.

    It took a wonderful man, my husband to make me aware that we are capable of doing anything, and no one can take that power away from is in all of us....we just need at a very early age to be told we are strong, we are bright, we are wonderful, we are capable of anything that comes our way........not to have that base of "SELF WORTH" CAN RUIN U FOR LIFE....... EVERYONE NEEDS TO HEAR THAT THEY ARE SPECIAL.....AT ANY AGE.

  2. What a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.