one of those moments

there was a great scene in a mediocre movie. the movie was "my best friend's wedding" and it did have some very funny scenes  -- like where they all sang dionne warwick's song "i say a little prayer" at dinner. but the great scene i'm talking about took place between julia roberts and dermot mulroney.  their characters had been friends for many years and now he was marrying cameron diaz and julia was jealous, sort of.

julia and dermot were spending time alone on a boat talking about their friendship and what each has meant to the other.  then dermot quotes cameron, "if you love someone, you say it or the moment passes you by." they look into each other's eyes - this was that moment - and julia is about to say i love you. she doesn't and the moment passes. whether or not they're meant to be together, i have no idea, but it was one of those moments.

how many moments do we let pass by? i know i've missed several and even if you're lucky enough to get another chance, it's not quite the same.  it's a different moment with a different feeling. i feel very lucky to have a great family and incredible friends who have all been supportive at many different times in my life.

wwcd:  i'm taking this moment to say i love you to my family and friends

be a quitter

when faced with a difficult situation that requires me to act, and i feel powerless or overwhelmed, i think about the day i quit smoking. april 14, 2003 was a huge day in my life. it's incredibly empowering to make a decision and follow through with that decision. you can feel the same when quitting a dead end job or an unhealthy relationship. granted cigarettes have a physical and chemical addiction, but i guess the same can be said for a job or person. it's easy to fall into patterns and habits and shy away from change.

fearing the worst, quitting was a lot easier than i imagined. i chose my last smoking day, bought the patch, did a lot of deep breathing and then it was just me and no cigarettes. i heard nicotine was harder to quit than heroin, not having ever tried or being addicted to heroin, i had no reference to hold me back. oh, i forgot to tell you though how much i loved smoking, but knew the time had come for change. i can honestly tell you that when faced with a difficult decision, i think back to april 14, take a few deep breaths and remember what i'm made of.

wwcd:  the first step is realizing it's time for change

i still like holding hands at the movies

having recently spent time with several people from my past, i am reminded of what relationships were like. how easy it was to meet people, be in a relationship and get out of it. now, well, it's all different. maybe not all of it, but the word easy is never in the same sentence with "i met someone and it's been so _______."

in the old days you'd meet people everywhere...and friends had friends and there were possibilities at school or work. now, there's:

- e harmony - 29 dimensions of compatibility - what happened to chemistry?

- j date - meet jewish singles - since i've only dated 2 jewish guys in my life, my track record isn't so great

- match.com - someone irresistible is so close - this just sounds creepy

- facebook - helps you connect and share with the people in your life - not really a matchmaking site, but it's doing a great impersonation of one

it's all different now...the rules have changed...senior citizens are sexting...so much is happening and it's not happening face-to-face. if i at 50 can't figure this out, what chance do teenagers have? you can't really meet someone online -- i know people will disagree and site examples of the million couples they know who have met and married. ok, i know i won't meet someone that way.

wwcd: you need to hear a voice, see their eyes and hold hands at the movies

feel the love

it's the moments i don't expect that bring me the most meaning. earlier today i went to an assembly of middle school boys giving thanks. they read poems they'd written, read poems famous poets had written, read stories they'd written and played instruments. in the audience were their classmates in 4th through 6th grades, faculty, staff and parents.

all was going along smoothly...each boy performing how he'd planned. and then a 4th grade boy with a horn, along with a teacher on a piano, came to the stage. they both sat poised to play. the piano began and the horn followed. "may i start again?" the boy said. my heart sank a little. they started again. and stopped. the third time no sound came from the horn and tears rolled down his face. mine too. the empathy i felt for him as a mom and as a person who doesn't like to perform was enormous.

he walked off the stage. there were audible snickers from a couple of boys at which point an administrator spoke. she started by giving thanks for having heard this young man play the piece perfectly 6 times during rehearsal. she went on to say to the audience that we all know how hard it is to perform in front of your classmates and many of us have had that experience of butterflies. it was an incredible moment. this moment made the assembly.

the performance went on. the boy's teacher went to check on him and after only 3 other people performed the young man was back on stage with his horn and pianist in place. he played the piece beautifully and then received a huge round of applause. he smiled and also learned about resilience.

wwcd: don't miss those moments to learn something or teach something

what an impact warren

it's usually sad when someone dies and more so when they're young. the older i get, the younger most old ages become. earlier this evening i attended a memorial service for a faculty member at my son's school who died suddenly in early september of a brain aneurysm at the age of 56. the first person i saw at the service was a woman i know who herself had an aneurysm last year. as we spoke i could only think how hard it must be for her to be here. but then again, she's here.

the service format of who spoke was lovely: head of school, a colleague, a current student and an alumna. each speaking from a different vantage point and each painting a picture of warren that vividly described a person so dedicated to learning, to his friends and colleagues, to his students, to his church. then the audience was asked if they would like to say anything. at least 6 people spoke about the way they knew warren, recited amusing stories about him, described how kind he was, and spoke about his passion as a teacher.

and then came time for the last person to speak before moving to the reception. way in the back of the auditorium a woman stood, explained she had been a student of warren's years ago and told how she benefitted from his teaching and his kindness. she went on to say that now, as an attorney who represents many teenagers, she spends additional time meeting with her clients outside of the court room. she learned from warren that it doesn't take a great deal of time to make an impact on a teenager.

wwcd: make an impact in someone's life...take the time