Bucket List

Typically you associate a bucket list with someone who is dying, whether from cancer like Jack Nicholson's character in the movie of the same name, or 16 year old Alice who writes the blog Alice's Bucket List. Young or old, the common thread is that it's about completing a list of special or longed for experiences in a certain amount of time.

So what if the impetus is not a sad reason....but 4 years of college ? I only have 2.5 years before Zach leaves and it's not that I think there wont be time for trips and other experiences once he goes, but our time together will be different. My first thought about the next couple of years is what life lessons can I cram into his head? And then I thought it would be more meaningful for us to create a bucket list together. Somehow the bucket list also seems a little more fun right now.

2.5 years is a good amount of time to plan a road trip to California, learn how to play the piano, get a tattoo (that's mine, not Zach's), see Cold Play in concert, volunteer time with children, meet Paul McCartney, sky dive (that's Zach's, not mine), take the summer off and live at the beach, and more to be added.

Oh, and since one of the top items on the list is spending time in Italy, I'm renaming our bucket list...we now have un secchio elenco! What's on yours?

Mikell's

Think about New York in the early 80s. Conjures up all sorts of memories, doesn't it? It was a pretty amazing time to be in your 20s. New York was still reeling from...54, Mudd Club and a whole bunch of other dance clubs. I don't remember when I stopped going, but at some point they were replaced with small clubs.

I spent a lot of time at a place on 97th and Columbus. Mikell's wasn't a big place, but it was a corner oasis. It had a big sound and left a strong impression on me. I made a few friends there, saw a lot of people perform there, and haven't thought about Mikell's since it closed in the early 90s. Not until this past weekend.

One of the strongest memories I have is the first time I heard a mother-daughter act sing Me and You Against the World and was blown away...goose bumps, tears and all. I remember hearing this song so many times after and always wondered how the daughter would eventually go on without the mom...and never thought it would be the other way around. Never.

hopeful

Half empty or half full? I'm a half full kind of person and prefer to see the best in a situation or person. I think that's why I like a new year. It's a time that most people feel positive about starting fresh.

Oddly, it was a bit hard when I thought about 2012 beginning. Between feeling need for personal change and the looming presidential election, this new year seemed filled with more uncertainty than past years. What's interesting is sitting here a little over a month into the year and I'm already feeling differently about what's coming. I'm feeling more settled and focused than I was during most of 2011, and I'm enjoying more of where I'm spending my time now.

As for the election, well, it's a bit like watching children fight. Not Obama since he hasn't fully stepped in yet, but each Republican candidate. And even though we're down to 4, I'm worried about all the negativity being promoted so far. I fear this election will be dirty and dangerous. Between Adelson and Trump and a few other monied or vocal people, it feels like posturing and throwing their weight around and unfortunately, not about the better candidate winning.

Many things need to change in this city, the country, the world, and right now there are too many voices making noise and not enough solutions being heard. Obama, I'm counting on you in your second term to find those solutions and be as noisy as possible.

Work it

Nine to Five, Norma Rae, Erin Brokovich, Working Girl, Baby Boom, Legally Blonde, Devil Wears Prada...each movie depicts women in the work force...different types of women. I think I fall somewhere between Sally Field and Diane Keaton.

I grapple with the balance of family, friends, work and pro bono.  There's nothing more important to me than spending time with my family and friends, but unless I block out time, it's easily eaten away with other commitments. I have a friend who calls me a lunch whore, of course always said with love but, knowing that it's difficult to schedule lunch with me. I look at my calendar sometimes and imagine elves have hacked my Google account and added meetings, lunches and dinners.

The working world hasn't been 9 to 5 since the movie of the same name was released. The plus of our 24/7 world is not having to stay in your office the typical 8 hours, since you're able to spread out the work day to after dinner, or late at night, or those times reserved for insomnia, or the weekend. It has though increased the load and the expectation. And, the 24/7 world was not created with procrastinators in mind. They are truly at a disadvantage being able to push off work until...later.

I love being able to take a break from work, have dinner, talk to Zach, and then return to a project or problem. The time away clears my mind to think about it differently and possibly find a different way to resolve the issue. I've read the reports that we do not really multi-task well, but I like having the opportunity to spend time on a work project, switch to a volunteer challenge, and back to a work report. In addition to keeping my interest, I believe each project enhances the other.

The challenge is making my time count and working on projects I feel are meaningful. I like making a difference and being challenged.  So, I've just spent a couple of hours with Norma Rae and I'm ready for a little J.C. Wiatt.

do the right thing

It's a bit unnerving how early college is discussed now in the life of a high school student. I don't remember even thinking about college until junior year. With all this talk happening earlier, there seems to be more opportunity to discuss what parents hope for their children and whom they hope the kids grow into as adults. I hear a lot about wanting the kids to be happy and successful adults who find a career they love. Nothing wrong with being happy and successful, or loving what you spend much of your time doing.

Not to minimize those dreams, but a few things feel like they're missing. What about being a good person? What about being the person who does the right thing? Over the weekend I was talking with my step-dad about the Sandusky molestations. We were both incredulous at the behavior of the assistant coach when he walked in on Sandusky raping a 10 year old. I recounted a conversation I had with Zach about what he should do if he ever walked in on that kind of a situation. I said you don't have to put yourself in danger, but you must do the right thing and get help immediately.

This touched such a nerve that I cried with my step-dad. I want Zach to be a happy and successful adult, but I believe with every fiber of my being that all of it will be meaningless unless you have values and a moral compass that leads you to making the choice to do the right thing. These are choices that come up frequently and most are not as life and death as what that assistant coach encountered, but each time you have a choice. Being proud of who you are and doing the right thing will make you a happy person.