Tuesday, October 27, 2009

my aunt died

she died last friday evening while i was at theater with amy. on sunday my brother and i went to the funeral and cemetery together. i saw family members - my cousins - whom i haven't seen in over 10 years. blood is an incredible bond and walls break down quickly. even though it's been 10 years, we fell right back into our relationship. they look the same...maybe a little grayer, thinner, blonder, shorter...funny how you remember people.

we arrived in new jersey for the service and it was great to see my cousins, despite the sad reason. i was dumbstruck when i saw my cousins' children now ages 11, 20, 21, 24, and just-turned 25. that's where the 10 years made a huge difference. about to have a bar mitzvah, in college, just graduated from college and cannot find a job, moved west for a career opportunity, and just moved in with her boyfriend and began working for a start up company. they were all so young the last time i saw them.

i felt like i missed a lifetime. i missed several. and they missed zach's. as sad as it was to be at my aunt's funeral, it was more crushing to think of all the time that we won't get back as a family.

wwcd: you cannot turn back time, but you can make the most of the time ahead


  1. Casper --

    This is wonderful! I know what you are trying to explain. The unveiling of my grandmother's headstone was two weekends ago. Even with the reason for the gathering, it was wonderful to be with family. And it was also wonderful BECAUSE of the reason for the gathering -- we were all there solely because we loved and missed my grandmother.

    Hold tight to your family!


  2. Casper,
    I'm sorry for your loss. But I completely get the message you're trying to convey. Family is incredible, I just got re-connected with a cousin of mine that I've not seen since he was like 5, he's now 21, he's a successful photographer, and when I wrote to him to re-connect I said something like "Hey Cuz I'm not sure you'd remember me you were so small the last time I saw you...etc etc" and he wrote back "Of course I remember you, you never forget family."

    I agree, you can never turn back time, but sometimes that doesn't really matter, what matters is making the most of the time ahead just like you said, and said well. ;)


  3. Wonderful message. What ever we may think of family, it's the only one we have, so making the most of it is important. Thank you for your thoughts and perspective.!

  4. Thanks for putting this into words. I know it is tough to be the container for opposing emotions - the joy of being together, the sorrow of the loss, the amazement at the growth and maturity and the understanding that childhood has its duration...

  5. i just started reading all of these...they are great! you are an amazing sister..love you with all my heart!