Saturday, October 31, 2009

monday's ultimatum

i've always been perplexed by women who proudly announce they have given someone an ultimatum. years ago those ultimatums were usually about moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, having children. i didn't understand why women would relinquish the power and basically sit waiting on the whim of another person. i also wondered why anyone would want to practically force someone to do something instead of having it be their idea. and usually, the ultimatum time limit would come and go and an extension would be given.

back then is when i made a deal with myself to never give anyone an ultimatum except myself. not a man i thought of as a potential husband or father, or an employer holding a sought after promotion. these ultimatums became mine -- and silent. i would make a deal with myself that usually began with some situational frustration, better known as it was time for a change. instead of holding anyone else responsible or blaming someone for not doing what i thought timely, i decided on a time frame that i could live with and that seemed realistic. mondays were usually it. a decision made at the beginning of a week was a positive step, at least in some direction.

i still do it now and monday is still the day. it allows me to feel more in control of a situation where i'm not really in control. of course by making this silent deal with myself, i become more in control.

wwcd: it's about owning your life, taking responsibility for outcomes, not blaming others

1 comment: